A Friend in Need
by Ultra Hikari
Summary: Kira's friends decide he needs cheering up, and try to do that any way they can.


Title: A Friend in Need

Fandom: Bleach

Rating: M for sexual innuendo

Characters: Kira, Renji, Shuuhei, Momo, Matsumoto

Pairings: none or everyone – depends on your point of view.

Warnings: humour, sexual innuendo

Spoilers: none

Genre: gen, humour

Word count: 1121

Summary: Kira's friends decide he needs cheering up, and try to do that any way they can.

A/N: fic written for my friend marigoldsthorn at LJ.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach and make no money from writing this.

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><p>'Oy, Kira, you look kinda down lately...' Renji remarked.<p>

'Do I really?' Kira looked up from the documents on his desk.

Renji nodded: 'Totally, man! That's because you do paperwork all the time. You gotta lighten up!'

Kira frowned. He didn't think he was working any harder than usual, but if Renji said so... 'What do you propose?' Kira asked.

'I found this awesome place in Rukongai you gotta see, let's go there tonight, ' Renji said.

Kira considered that. No harm in getting a drink or two, probably. He did work hard, after all...

xxx

'No harm in getting a drink or two, yeah, right,' muttered Kira to himself next morning. If only he had stopped at that! Then he would not be having the grandfather of all hangovers. But with Renji it was nearly impossible not to get drunk.

Kira sat down at his desk slowly, trying not to move his head too much – he was afraid it might explode. Fortunately, today's paperwork pile was smaller than usual. He was done with it in no time, and slumped on the desk, pressing his head to the cool wooden surface. A nap would be nice, thought Kira.

But there was a knock on the door, and Kira sighed. There go his hopes for a nap.

'Come in!' he said, trying not raise his voice, in case it created painful echoes in his still hungover brain. The door slid open, and in walked Hisagi Shuuhei.

'Hello, Kira! Here's the circular about the Division activity reports,' Hisagi said, waving a leaflet. Then he paused, taking a closer look at Kira.

'Hey, why the long face? Is something wrong?' he asked.

Kira didn't dare to shake his head, so he just said: 'No, everything is perfectly well!' He did not mention drinking with Renji or hangover, just in case Hisagi got offended that he was not asked to join this time.

'Hmm, you don't sound too convincing...' Hisagi said. He gave Kira a calculating look and said: 'I know what will cheer you up! Remember that haiku contest in Seireitei News?'

Kira didn't think he needed cheering up, what he needed was hangover medicine. But what about that haiku contest?

'The one where I'm not participating this time? I told you I wanted to give other people a chance to win,' Kira replied.

'Right, but you like haiku, so maybe you'd like to judge the contest entries? The contest deadline was yesterday, so we have all of them already. I'm sure it will be fun!' Hisagi suggested.

Kira sighed quietly. He did like haiku, but he would have preferred a nap. Still, Hisagi looked so happy that he had found something to cheer Kira up...

'Sure, why not,' agreed Kira.

xxx

Five hours later, Kira had found a multitude of reasons why he should have refused that offer. For pity's sake, some of the haiku author's couldn't even count the syllables properly! And some of the themes were the most inelegant, unsuitable topics Kira had ever seen. Still, in the end he managed to choose the one which was not entirely bad, and brought it to Hisagi, telling him that it was the winning haiku.

'Thanks, Kira! Did you have fun?' Hisagi asked, with entirely inappropriate optimism.

'Tremendous fun,' Kira replied with a wan smile, and went back to his quarters to get some sleep at last.

xxx

Luckily, next day nobody tried to cheer Kira up, so he could work on Hollow activity charts until late evening. At last the charts were done, and Kira decided to take a walk.

He strolled aimlessly through the streets of Soul Society, nodding to acquaintances, greeting the members of his Division, and generally enjoying the evening air. He didn't even notice when he got to the Headquarters of the 10th Division.

The building was dark, except for the only lit window on the ground floor. As far as Kira knew the layout if the building, it must have been the Captain's office. He heard the sounds of a conversation from the open window, and was about to hurry up and walk away, so it would not seem that he was eavesdropping. But then he heard his name mentioned in the conversation, and curiosity got better of him. He tried to conceal his reiatsu and crept closer to the window to hear the conversation better.

'An orgy is the only way, I'm telling you!' he recognised Matsumoto's voice.

'But Matsumoto-san, that's a bit too much...' those were Momo's timid tones.

'Yeah, I mean, Kira will pop a vein if you invite him to an orgy!' that was Renji, and what in the world were they talking about?

'Oh really? But you got him drunk, and Shuuhei here let him muck about with poetry, and he is still unhappy!' Matsumoto protested. Kira frowned – why did they even think he was unhappy?

'Muck about is not really the right way to...' Kira heard Hisagi's quiet protest.

'He needs an orgy! We are his friends, it's our duty to make him happier!' Matsumoto exclaimed. She seemed to be very enthusiastic about the idea.

'But we still haven't tried my plan,' Momo said.

Kira heard Renji's laugh: 'Look, Momo, hate to break it to you, but Kira is a dude, even if he looks all dainty. Baking cookies together is not exactly fun for a guy!'

'Speak for yourself, I personally find cooking quite interesting,' Hisagi sounded somehow offended.

'Boys, boys, no arguing!' Matsumoto intervened. 'We've tried everything else, now he just needs to get laid to be happy!' Kira couldn't help a quiet laugh – who knew Matsumoto was so interested in his sex life. He decided to join the conversation before they start detailing the plans about how and when to jump him.

'Good evening, everyone!' Kira smiled, looking into the room. All the four people inside looked at him with various expressions of horrified surprise.

'Kira-kun, it's not what you think!' hurried Momo.

'We weren't doing anything!' Hisagi added, looking somewhat guilty.

'Not without you, anyhow,' Matsumoto said with a grin.

Now Kira had to laugh out loud: 'I heard what you were talking about. What gave you the idea I wasn't happy in the first place?'

'Well, you looked really down lately...' Renji explained.

'That doesn't mean I was not happy. I couldn't possibly be unhappy with friends like you!' Kira replied. The people in the room exchanged smiles.

'So let's leave it at that, and no more plans about making me happy, agreed?' asked Kira. He waited for his friends to indicate agreement.

'But it doesn't mean I'm saying no to that orgy,' he grinned, and once again laughed at the shocked faces of his friends.

~the end~


End file.
